Grief and growth. Heaviness and renewed hope. Learning to hold on and learning to let go. 2015 bore the story of it all, and I must admit that my heart rejoiced when I noticed the lines of it beginning to run out and the next chapter come calling.
2016 – a fresh set of pages handed to me for the new season I’d entered. Right on time.
Healing began before the flip of the calendar, but my eyes kept peeking forward to count down the days to a new year. My heart was expectant for the freshness 2016 would bring. The last year is one I will never forget; even if I wanted to try, it’s changed and grown me too much for that. Despite the hardships and heartaches housed inside the gates of 2015, I wouldn’t want to forget it all anyway.
It was undoubtedly messy,
but so full of grace.
Those were the days where He grew me. It was where He shed light, uprooted weeds, and poured healing water over my soul on repeat. This collection of days I have wrapped into the label of 2015 was a season of getting to the place where I could bloom. Because while I had heard so clearly that it was time to do so, my heart wasn’t quite ready. It had been naive of me to think that blooming would come without resistance. There was still some growing and accepting of what I needed before the petals could unfurl, inch by inch.
The cycle of growth will surely continue. Perennials welcome the spring and summer days of fuller bloom, but fall always comes home and carries them into winter again. And the work moves forward once more.
Grace upon grace, this work isn’t mine alone. He upholds. He empowers. He uses gentle hands to nurture and to prune, kind as ever in His ministrations. I can trust Him to care for me and complete the work. The Gardener will tend, and the flower will grow as it was designed to under His guidance. The flower doesn’t have to fret. It simply trusts its needs will be met and grows where it’s planted – rejoicing in sun, drinking in water, and rooting deep into soil.
That’s the banner I’m carrying across my heart for 2016. To trust is to rest in who He is, in His care and love, in His heart for you. To trust, you must know the One you’re resting in. To trust, you must exercise faith. To trust, you must be mindful, aware.
Trust is the song my soul will learn the lyrics to over the course of the year.
I hope when the time comes to turn the page again, I’ll be able to sing it for you by heart.