I’ve been fighting the desire to hide.
Maybe it’s part of being a brave heart working to burst out of a shy shell, but lately I’ve wanted to curl up on my bed and raise my fuzzy blanket up to my chin. Hidden and warm. I’ve been fighting the desire to hide from the internet – from social media, from this space I was creating, from writing where it would be seen.
Of course this feeling came as I was working, slowly but surely, toward unveiling this space. It came as I was sure of a calling to share more, in writing and in speaking and in everyday life. I knew I was being drawn out into this space of open-hearted vulnerability, and I wanted nothing more than to hide from it all.
I wasn’t created to hide.
Neither were you.
There’s a distinct sort of bravery required when you’re moving into deeper waters – one that goes so far beyond your own ability to be courageous. It’s a bravery that is brought to life inside of you by the Holy Spirit of God. It’s a flame lit in His power, fanned in faith and obedient trust.
I’ve been fighting the desire to hide by seeking instead. There’s evidence of it each day, in a brown leather Bible with markings up and down the pages sitting by my bedroom window. In a journal filled with prayers written out line by line tucked nearby. In the passages of Scripture pinned above my desk to shake up my heart with faith. The desire to hide comes from staring at the wrong things, but with eyes fixed above and a heart that’s seeking? Fear is banished and faith is emboldened, all in the presence of Jesus.
Hiding doesn’t become us.
You and I, we’re made for more than that. We’re made to be light, reflecting the beauty of our God and shining into dark places. It’s a light that can’t be hidden once ignited. It’s a voice that can’t be silenced within you. It’s a stirring to do, to be that you cannot ignore. It’s more than us.
When you seek Him with all you are, you find Him. And in finding Him, you find peace and bravery, joy and the heart to move ahead. When you seek Him, He draws you out in gentle love in a way where that desire to hide fades away.
So when you feel like hiding,
I hope you turn around and seek instead.
Then let your light shine.